Day 1.
Like a modern Livingstone and Stanley, well prepared and eager for our adventure to start Luke and I met at the designated areas at the beginning of the wilderness we must conquer.
Well almost. We were an hour late and we met in the MacDonald’s carpark where we shared hot cakes and cappuccinos because we were, well bloody freezing.
However, that same brave and intrepid spirit that propelled our erstwhile heroes on beat in our hearts also, and thus without much ado, we did what all respectable exporters normally do on their first day.
We headed to the mall. After collecting all the bits, we realised we had forgotten. We finally mounted our steeds and headed north….Ish.

The ride was mostly uneventful with us not yet adjusted to being out of the rat race. Well me anyway. Luke kept reminding me that “this was his normal life”. As a result, I punished him by not telling him about the second Turkish delight chocolate I had had squirreled away. I believe, as you well know, that revenge is a dish best served cold.

We had morning tea at the longest railway tunnel in Australia. After walking 2 kilometres we found, as advertised, a very long tunnel. This was awesome. Until the world’s largest bat colony forced us into a strategic retreat.

 

Note to the reader. Running zigzags in dirt bike boots are not to be attempted. After a healthy lunch consisting of “droe-wors” and chocolate (Jenny Craig in your FACE) we then rode another 250 kilometres to Australia’s largest orange. Again, as advertised we found, well a very large orange ball. It was awesome😊

The scenery was stunning all the way here. I was viciously attacked by fire ant that had crawled into my suit and bit me on my arm. After an emergency stop (BMW totally kicked Luke’s bikes ass btw) I was out of my gear in flash and had big red and slightly bleeding welt to show for my trouble.
I did a calm and manly search of my garments whilst treating myself with a anti-animal bite cream I found in Roma’s side table. (Side thought, wha does Roma have anti-bug-bite-cream in her side table- must find answer later).

Anyway. I beat my jacked with a stick just in case there was another little fucker in there and headed, as always, north.
Dinner and sleeping was a bit of a challenge. We ,ahem lost track of the time at the local pub in Gayndah. As a result, it was getting dark when we realised we needed to rush to get ourselves sorted. We are free camping tonight. Dinner was awesome with Luke cooking up a storm and me operating in supervisory capacity.

It is worth noting that Stuard Dutton, the so-called walking encyclopaedia of the outback, could have warned us that not only are the large Australian eagles a menace out here, but so are the bloody crows. They are huge, arrogant and reluctant to move. I found playing chicken with a murder of crows on a dead carcass a little unnerving.
Anyway.

As all brilliant senior managers do I found a solution to the problem. I offered lieutenant Commander Miller of Her majesties vicious battleship “Mermaid” the opportunity to put his manly (bright orange) motorbike (called Wuffy) to good use and ride in front – problem sorted.
This was an awesome day. We have collated lots of videos. Here are some of the pictures. The videos will follow. I am about to finish as schooner of port and head off to bed before the adventure continuous tomorrow.

The silence is an award in and of itself. The moon and the quiet really clears the mind. It is awesome. Love to all. Till tomorrow.

P.S. – from Luke’s Keyboard:

While David, daydreamed of being a 19th Century explorer discovering the head of the Nile – I focused on dragging both of us, our bikes and all of our gear in a general North-West direction towards Gayndah.
We picked up supplies and repacked the gear on our bikes. As I wrestled with ratchet straps I could hearing David muttering “I wish Johan was here, I wish Johan was here”, so consider yourself missed Johan.
After taking longer than planned we pulled out of Toowoomba on to the A3 and got our trip underway.
David and I said the right magic words and miraculously achieved pairing our two Bluetooth headsets (Scala and Uclear Brands). I immediately wish we hadn’t. David commenced comparing our steeds; taking every opportunity to inform me how and why BMW bikes were superior. I found that the BMW didn’t miss a beat as long as I humoured its ego.
Later in the day, David’s voice in my ear erupted in to screeching and I searched for him in my rear view mirror, fearing to see a spectacular fireball but all I saw David coming to a stop, leaping from his bike and performing one of the best ‘help I have a spider in my bike jacket’ dances I have ever seen.
Reaching Gayndah about 1600 h, we stopped in at one of the local pubs for a cold beer. As time went on and the sun headed for the horizon locals started moving in the shadows and we could their mutterings getting louder.
We headed out of town intending to camp at the local weir only find to find the local council has gone to town with ‘No camping’ signage. We hit the road for another 50kms until the welcoming lights of Mundubberah appeared on the horizon. 5kms before the town we found a rest stop allowing camping for no more than 20 hours were we promptly set up a camp and feasted on Nachos.
I will sign off for now and turn to the map board whilst I nurse a cup of port, because in the morning when David charges from his tent mounts his Beamer and thunders out of the carpark screaming “WHICH WAY!?!?!?!” I will need to know which direction to point. Wish us luck, I get it right.

Adventure Rider Pro Tip #1 – Always let your mate’s teenage daughter pick your music playlist. You will be smashing towards the outback to the sounds of ‘It’s Raining Men – Hallelujah, It’s raining men” in no time.

Facts:
1) We travelled 463 kms
2) Average fuel usage 5.5 l/100
3) Peanuts eaten – 1 bag of chilly and lime.
4) Coffees: two
5) Cups of tea: 2
6) “Droewors” eaten unknown. The stench in the tent will tell us tomorrow.
7) Suzuki Vstorm performed well.
8) BMW performed Faultlessly.
9) Fun had – lots and lots. It was awesome😊